A Rare Instance In Which I Talk About Celebrities

[mmymoon]

Wait, what? Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer are dating?

The sound you hear now is the brains of teenage girls everywhere exploding. And you thought the Tori Amos lyric was cute!

(Tori's too old now, though; much like Madonna passes the blonde pop princess torch onto Gwen Stefani, thus Tori becomes less and less known by alienated teenaged girls. I'm sorry, lovelies; I like them both, too, but it's true. You'd be hard pressed to find a single fourteen year old with an obsessive devotion to Ani Difranco, either. A kid in one of my high school classes told me that Trent Reznor was "old people music." Sigh.)

... well, anyway, I suppose this validates people who "ship" and fanfic real people. It's only a matter of time before the erotic Gaiman-Palmer stories reign supreme; shippers everywhere can speculate on their sexual proclivities like never before!

Although, a disclaimer, I still find that whole genre decidedly unnerving. The only real reason I've never striven for fame is because I find having unknown admirers to be a very unsettling prospect. Of course, I don't care that deeply about the famous, either... oh, what, yes? They made art. Did you know Van Gogh cut off his ear this one time? And Duchamp dressed as a woman and-- Oh, you did. Right, then.

Fawning over famous people seems like dreaming about a dinner party you'll never attend; what's the point? I'm sure they're lovely people I'd enjoy conversing with in person, but otherwise, eh, I give them my money and gratitude for their art, and that's the end of the emotional transaction. (The consumption of said art is a very private matter between me and the artwork.) I've plenty of artists for friends; I don't need to imagine how that goes down. I know how it goes down! Usually with a fair amount of self-flagellation on the part of the gifted. Don't get me wrong; I'm certain most of the authors and musicians I enjoy would be wonderful dinner guests should I happen to attend such a party, but I doubt they'd be anymore charming than the people I already dine with. Perhaps even less charming, as they've got to be a bit tired from all the press, have been up all day working, and could do with a good solid nap.



HOWEVER, I must say, I was somewhat fascinated by the celebrity relationship and eventual divorce of Marilyn Manson and Dita Von Teese -- that's as close as gothy-type people ever came to true Hollywood glamour.

"I'm leaving you. And I'm taking the dachshunds."

Comments

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

Part of the deal with celebrities I've always thought is you treat it like a big national soap opera - knowing who the hell Britney is is something a whole lot of us have in common, so you can sit around with people you don't know well and opine about her whether she's a good mom or whatever.

Actually having gotten to hang around with a few geek celebrities from the Star Wars world, I'd say they generally fall into two categories. The first is the folks who are mostly unaffected by it all. They appear to be rarer, but, as you said, they'd be cool dinner guests, but not necessarily any cooler than your friends.

The other group are those who've begun to believe their own publicity. With those, you wanna shake their hand, get their autograph, and basically get the hell away. I sure wouldn't invite them to dinner.

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

P.S. Does this make Neil a coin operated boy?

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

You, darling, ought to be familiar with my particular habit of disliking something not so much because I actively dislike it, but because I am sick of being surrounded by the fandom. (I don't TRULY hate steampunk aesthetically; I merely wish to throttle, and perhaps shave, The Steamy.)

Cory points out we all get to hear ENDLESS discussions about "OMG! Do you think this song is based on NEIL??????!!!!!!??????"

At which point, I'd say I'd be cranky, but when am I ever not?


ENDLESS discussions! Get it?! ENDLESS. IT'S A CONCEPT. CREATED BY NEIL GAIMAN. TWO DECADES AGO. ENDLESS!

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

ENDLESS discussions! Get it?! ENDLESS.

Bwa-ha-ha.

Carrie Fisher claims that all Paul Simon's songs are actually about her.

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

YOU'REEEEEEEEEEE SO VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN

I BET YOU THINK THIS SONG IS ABOU-- Oh wait, wrong Simon.

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

You're so vain
I bet you think Neil Gaiman would date you!
Don't you? Don't you?

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

Nah. The first time I started in with "Oh gee, honey, this is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO special; I bet you've read The Hero with a Thousand Faces again this weekend, haven't you?" he'd dump me like a hot potato.

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

*rotfl* In case it's not clear, I didn't mean "you," by the way, I was inventing stupid lyrics referring to the Neil fangirls.

Did I ever tell you about that sad panel at Comic Con where Natalie Portman dealt very gracefully with a question from this horribly deranged fanboy? They were supposed to be asking questions about V for Vendetta, but one guy got to the mike and couldn't stop rambling on about how he and Natalie were obviously soulmates. It made me kind of afraid for Natalie and afraid for Western Civilization.

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

I KNOW HOW THE SONG GOES; I HAVE A DISTURBING COMPREHENSION OF RANDOM SONG LYRICS. I just couldn't resist the jab. I could date Helena Bonham Carter and/or Tim Burton, but only because it'd be like making out with myself. (The hair! The HAIR!)

Yes... I could say more about how unnerving I find this, but. I'd say the only two "celebrities" I actually would seek approval from would be LeVar Burton and Judith Martin -- and only if it arose naturally. As it is, I can extrapolate that they'd both certainly be proud of me, if they knew me naturally. I shouldn't wish for more than that.

(I once spoke to Piers Anthony, and he thought an idea I had was clever -- or at least he faked it -- which is all I could possibly ask.)

Other than that... I've my own soulmate. He's blonde! Sigh!

It's like a friend I have who is bent on finding her roots... I put myself in her shoes; I think she's seeking approval. I know very little of my heritage, so heck, I could be all sorts of things -- but that doesn't much change the fact I'm going to be a black-clad weirdo who talks about CREEPY DOLLIEHS with my friends. Hmmm.

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

I'm certain!

But I suppose I'm thinking more of the indie-froo-froo celebrities who do have a modicum (or more) of artistic merit; I'm sure Pratchett, Gaiman, Burton, Elfman, Palmer, etc. etc. would, indeed, make lovely dinner guests.

I just, you know, don't care.

Which is not to say that if I happen to be introduced to them socially, I wouldn't find them absolutely charming and wonderful people -- but it really disturbs me that so many people walk around thinking, in their secret and not-so-secret hearts, that they HAVE TO TALK TO WHOMEVER. They'll be bestest friends with them, surely, if they are given the chance!

Indeed, Twitter feeds into this delusion; follow everyone! The cast of Star Trek really cares about your opinions and feedback! (Now, they might care about YOUR feedback, as on the geek level, you ARE a celebrity. You're a Big Name Blog!)


... but I don't get it. I've never gotten it. I've known people of varying levels of geek and such fame, and they're... just people. Some of them are nice, some of them are jerks, and some of them make emotionally significant artwork that touches me on a deep and personal level -- but if I have a relationship, it's to the artwork, not the artist.



Don't hate me, sweetie, as I'm endeavoring to turn over this new nicer leaf, but I've got to admit, the whole Stephen Colbert fangirl thing confuses me endlessly. He's... an... actor. He's not even a Johnny Depp, "I do all sorts of zany things to research the role" sort of actor, who might have something to say during dinner. The fangirling of the Comedy Central actors seems like nothing so much as people proclaiming their love for... for... the Coneheads from SNL. Buuuuuh?

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

I only fangirl Stephen because he is completely full of awesomeness.

And, you know, Stephen Colbert is playing a guy named Stephen Colbert.

Much as Bret and Jemain are playing characters named Bret and Jemaine.

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

Those are those guys from that one musical comedy show you're all on about, right? *ducks*

But... I... I think it's all too close to home for me to think it's that full of awesomeness. There are no spaceships and rugged action adventures; they don't bake fabulous cakes. Again -- I know enough pretty talented guys in real life. I mean, Jack Black is a funny guy, but not so much that I want to give him more patronage than, you know, watching a Netflix now and again. (I like a good segment of musical comedy, and it's good, but I also liked Whose Line Is It Anyway? and I'm not putting posters of Wayne Brady on my wall. And that man could improv!)

And we all know my visual tastes run a bit to the blonde and/or buff...

But that's sort of my point; the characters-playing-themselves gets a bit creepy for my tastes. We all know that, no matter how pretty Harrison Ford is, neither Han nor Indy are real people... er. Well. MOST of us know; I'm sure you could tell us some interesting tales... but... comedians? News anchors or their facsimiles?

I guess I kind of like Jim Cramer as a television variety type person who doesn't have CGI adventures! But not enough to put his poster up on my wall.

I guess it all ultimately boils down to dinner parties for me. My whole life revolves around the pursuit of Good Conversation.

[tikistitch.livejournal.com]

The really mind-twisting thing about Colbert is that study that showed conservatives who watch him *agree* with what they think he's saying. That is, they miss all the irony.

I'm one of those people who got kinda peeved at Springsteen for Born in the USA 'cause it got coopted by the wrong people. But the older and crankier I get, the more I think you can't really control what goes on in other peoples' brains. Gus has actually run into situations a couple times where we encounter people who are involved in "feuds" with him and he DOESN'T EVEN KNOW THESE PEOPLE. It's like they have this imaginary Gus in their heads who argues with them and reminds them of their mother, or whatever, I dunno.

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

I guess... I'm sort of over the whole "Oh, ha ha, I can pretend to be a conservative!" thing, though. (Remind me to email you the story about me, the Pentecostal church, and getting in a lot of trouble for faking glossolalia!)

Perhaps my general apathy toward political issues en masse causes me to... not care about the humour. (It's not that I miss it, it just grates on me after a while.) You can't control other people's thoughts... and... I really don't wish to. I'd abhor a world in which everyone thought like I did, politically.

However, that's TOTALLY what I'm talking about in terms of the creepiness of imaginary relationships -- the idea of fame seems horrid. No one is interested in conversing with a real human; they want to enact little fantasy stories with Imaginary Gus! See, in our fantasy relationship, we all ride ponies and eat mint ice cream until we puke.

*shudders*

One may not be able to control others, but one can prescribe anti-psychotics in some cases...

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

(Not that we don't watch things now and again -- not religiously, as I'm just too irritated by it -- but I don't see how the Comedy Central stuff is particularly... unique? Special? Not something we've seen before? Colbert is good at keeping character, but then, again, that's all stuff we've seen before. His character isn't a particularly new one for a comic. I've got to say, watching Comedy Central is a lot like watching, well, SNL. A whole big network of SNL. Which is good when you're in the mood for it, but... eh. Not that I dislike him, I just... don't care that deeply for it.)

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

I also suspect, sad but true, both of those shows suffer in my esteem simply from having a f-list full of followers -- the punchline is already stale by the time I sit down to watch it. Just as I'm sure everyone thinks I'm crueler in my opinion of 80s cartoons than I am; it's NOT that I dislike them, I'd simply like to watch something other than this same media over and over forever. My marathon syndrome... alas!

I would be quite willing to cut off the broadcast television (thus eliminating a lot of these problems of overexposure) but Cory is so used to the whole television... thing, that he finds the constant stimulation relaxing.

I find the constant stimulation, well, to be constant input that I have to process, which is likely to wear me out. The cop-out would be to say that it's due to not having broadcast for wide swaths of my childhood, but honestly, we did have it sometimes -- I just... don't... like constant intellectual noise. (As opposed to signal.) I would turn off the television likely as not when I was little, which is apparently a blasphemy in the eyes of the programming overlords.

Not to imply any superiority, again; I think this is ODD of me. I simply... get irritated...

Since Cory is the one with the day job and health benefits, I think his relaxation preferences are a bit more important than mine, but I do wonder if it's been making me crankier. I really did ENJOY being culturally isolated.

[ismene.livejournal.com]

Wait, what? What brought about this post?

Madonna passes her torch on to no one. She'll keep doing her thing until she's 80 and popular media declares it amazing again. (Not that I'm really a fan of her, or dislike Stefani, but they're so different. And I don't consider her a princess type.)

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

... general shock and awe at the prospect of maudlin fanfiction?

Eh, she kinda was in the 80s; I don't necessarily think she'll be a queen (or crone) even into her 80s. I mean, Madonna will always be Madonna, but teenagers just don't really give a crap anymore. I think Gwen fills that same sort of niche -- or at least, she has. It's not about music or who is what magical awesome musician; it's the beauty of the fact that we're growing older, and that which was marketed to our youth is no longer the hip and trendy icon we remember.

Tori Amos is still Tori Amos, but where my peers had screennames like "~ToriAni4Eva~", they just aren't clicking with that demographic anymore. I'm sure there ARE 14 year olds who are Tori Amos or Ani Difranco fans, but not in anywhere near the numbers of the late 1990s. Amanda Palmer is the heir to the throne.

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

I mean, I like debating the relative merits of various musicians about as much as I enjoy washing the dishes. But the potential... the sheer, brain-warping potential of Gaiman-Palmer...

If you haven't witnessed the phenomenon that is real life "shippers," you need to research it. It's right up there in the grand echelons of the internet, like Otaku-kin and Soulbonding and, you know, the Quiverfull movement.

So, you see the deadly, deadly power of such a celebrity pairing amongst the alterna-teen crowd.

[ismene.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know all about real-life shippers and their icky ilk. I've encountered them on the internet before. I just can't figure out the meaning and significance of the first sentence. What're Gaiman and this person I've never heard of doing?

[mmymoon.livejournal.com]

Dating. Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer. Of The Dresden Dolls.

And if you don't know who she is, my dear, I shall have to award you this shiny medal of Old Oldness. I should envy you so much. (I think she's a brilliant performer and all myself, but she has definitely inherited the fanbase from Tori and all; one's teen years are full of confused emotions and tortured art. It's not that I don't love her, it's that I'm jealous of your cronedom.)